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There have always been matchmakers and, more recently, marriage agencies that connected families. And every Indian family has a Sima.
The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into. She lumps an entire social system, which assigns people to a fixed place in a hierarchy from birth, together with anodyne physical preferences.
This prejudiced treatment includes, but is hardly limited to, workplace discrimination in the United States. For example, the state of California sued the tech company Cisco in June for allegedly failing to protect a Dalit employee from discrimination by his higher-caste Brahmin managers. When a popular show like Indian Matchmaking neglects this alarming fact of the Indian American experience, it quietly normalizes caste for a global audience.
Contrary to what some viewers might think, the caste system is an active form of discrimination that persists in India and within the Indian American diaspora. One of the primary functions of arranged marriage is maintaining this status quo. That explains why people in dominant castes often carry out brutal violence against their own family members who dare to marry outside their caste, particularly if a partner is Dalit.
Last year, in Maharashtra, a father reportedly doused his daughter and her Dalit husband in kerosene and lit them on fire to condemn their intercaste marriage.
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You want to share your life with someone special. I had lived my life up until that point thinking that finding a life partner is something that would not take any effort — that it is something that would just happen. After hearing that, I contacted Jasbina myself. I thought she would tell me to be someone I am not. Instead she embraced who I truly am — and helped me show that side to others.
A still from Netflix’s docu-series Indian Matchmaking.(Netflix) Updated: Jul The agency is now run by her protégé, Ami Shah. “Suitors are now.
The rhetoric of modernity, education, and progress is a powerful one that deludes us into thinking that regressive and repressive aspects of match-making are either a thing of the past, the rural, or the uneducated and uninformed. Denting this urban self-fashioning is the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking , which has held up a mirror to Indian society. Rather, it has shown how casteism and sexism merge with money, high-status, and modernity in the urban milieus of Mumbai, Delhi, New York, and Chicago.
Crucially, they consider their role as not limited to suggesting matches but of also undertaking a maternalistic paternalistic approach by advising prospective brides and grooms to change their attitudes and expectations in order to have a happy married life. Most important, this series has brought attention to an oft-repeated woe that the onus of sustaining the marriage squarely falls on women. That is the value we have been brought up with. Prospective grooms, on the other hand, are disconcertingly presented as reluctant men, who are to be cajoled and emotionally manipulated by their mothers, sisters into even agreeing to meet a prospective bride.
No such reluctance, however, is shown on part of the women, who are mainly depicted as eager brides. This show has generated much debate on social media and has been criticised for promoting problematic standards in matchmaking. Given that my doctoral research was on the matchmaking practices of urban Indians, I can say that this show is not far from reality. We are perhaps uncomfortable and angry because this show has said it as it is, and has done so on a global platform, leaving little scope for pretence.
The curious case of Bumble on Indian Matchmaking
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It has been a few months into trying out the prospect of arranged marriage. The decision came with the desire to find a decent, understanding companion I could share my life with. At the outset, let me tell you the process of finding a suitable match in this structure requires a considerable investment of time and energy. So after much deliberation, I finally decided to take the plunge. As an independent, working woman of today, why did I choose to do this?
Not because of a lack of faith in the ability to fall in love organically but an inkling that perhaps sometimes love is not just enough.
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They spoke in the kitchen, her mother pretending to wash dishes in the background and her brother hiding in a cupboard, eavesdropping. Thus, the beginning of her matchmaking experience ended almost as soon as it began. Executive produced by Smriti Mundhra, it follows Sima Taparia, a Mumbai-based matchmaker Mundhra met when her own mother solicited matchmaking services for her a decade ago.
After watching Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking, four South Asian women got on In the whole show, the women were so stripped of their agency.
Matchmaker Sima Taparia guides clients in the U. Sima meets three unlucky-in-love clients: a stubborn Houston lawyer, a picky Mumbai bachelor and a misunderstood Morris Plains, N. Friends and family get honest with Pradhyuman. Sima consults a face reader for clarity on her clients. A setback with Vinay temporarily discourages Nadia. Sima offers two more prospects to Aparna. Feeling the pressure, Pradhyuman finally goes on a date. Nadia has a promising date.
Pradhyuman sees a life coach. Sima sends Aparna to an astrologer and seeks a cultural match for guidance counselor Vyasar. A date with a model uplifts Pradhyuman. Vyasar and Rashi instantly bond. As Akshay rejects over 70 matches, Preeti gives him an ultimatum.
Matchmaking illustrates the ills of Indian society | Opinion
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Indian Matchmaking has brought attention to a woe that the onus of And while women may have more agency in choosing a match on.
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Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking” Tells Women to Compromise. I Refused to Do That.
That’s why her matchmaking agency strives to help the women of Belmont, Georgia find their happily ever after. Business is booming, or at least it was before the murder of a client. Now, she must figure out how to help her clients find their Prince Charming without sending them into the arms of a killer. Throw in a sexy detective and some chocolate sauce, and things get complicated. Will she figure out who the killer is before another TAFT client loses their life?
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Sushmita Pathak. Is it a match? A potential couple meet up courtesy of a matchmaker in the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. Netflix hide caption. A picky year-old from Mumbai whose unwillingness to marry raises his mom’s blood pressure.
He said he’d read a Twitter thread from an Indian woman who talked about her traumatic experiences navigating arranged marriages. Reading it.
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Indian Matchmaking Exposes the Easy Acceptance of Caste But many also come with a loss of agency, especially for the woman, who must.
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